Tuesday’s Faith Thought…
by Kathleen Simley
It was a phone call I wasn’t expecting. It was news I wasn’t prepared to hear.
“You have been exposed to the coronavirus in your home. You need to go into quarantine.”
Instantly, my life changed with this one phone call from the Nebraska Department of Health and Human Services.
My mind was racing when I got off the phone:
• Do I have the virus right now?
• What do I need to do today in case I test positive for the virus tomorrow?
• Do I have enough groceries and other supplies to survive during the quarantine?
• Where might the virus be in my home? Where do I even begin to sanitize?
• What have I already touched in my home that might have exposed me to the virus?
• Who should I tell about my exposure?
• How could this have happened to me?
Earlier in the day and before I received the phone call, I listened to the local news on television. I remembered hearing the report that day…14 confirmed community spread cases of COVID 19 in Lincoln and Lancaster County (out of a total population of almost 314,000 people), with the county health department monitoring 110 known exposed individuals for symptoms.
When I heard the report I remembered thinking, “That’s still a pretty low number of cases.” Admittedly, I also had this fleeting thought, “The risk is still low.”
A few hours later is when I received the phone call. I was exposed by one of the 14 people and was one of the 110 people being monitored. Any thoughts of “it will never happen to me” or “I’m at low risk” were shattered and now unfounded.
We currently don’t have a mandated “stay at home” order in Nebraska. So, having an imposed quarantine order placed on me to avoid risking the lives of others also imposed an emotional and mental burden with it. I immediately felt cut off from the rest of the world. Feelings of social responsibility, isolation, loneliness, sadness, fear, anxiety and stress ensued in the days to come.
Living in quarantine during Holy Week after being exposed to a deadly virus was a surreal experience. As the passion story unfolded, I found myself relating to what the disciples’ might have felt during their Holy Week experience:
Fear, Anxiety and Uncertainty
I imagined what the disciples were feeling when Jesus began speaking unsettling words to them at the Last Supper and then on Good Friday when rumors of his capture, beating and torture were even more imminent. Knowing Jesus might be crucified and that they themselves might be alongside him, I imagine the disciples were experiencing anxiety, fear and lots of uncertainty.
Each day of living in quarantine was filled with uncertainty for me – uncertainty about if I was really infected, whether my body would be strong enough to fight the virus, financial loss if I was too sick to work or was hospitalized or how long the quarantine might last. Nothing in the future was “for sure” anymore.
Along with the uncertainty comes fear – fear of the unknown. I never knew from one day to the next if I had the virus or not. Two times a day I reported my temperature to the county health department and answered questions about ten symptoms related to the virus. I remember the first day I had to say, “yes”, to two of the symptoms. I thought, “Does this mean I have the virus?” “How many symptoms do I have to report before they tell me to get tested?” I reported the same two symptoms multiple days in a row asking myself the same questions every day, but with no answers. The saying, “No answer is a good answer,” wasn’t always reassuring.
Isolated and Dejected
I can only imagine how the disciples struggled to make sense of Jesus’ crucifixion given all the miracles they had seen him perform and the promises they had believed. Why could he not have saved himself from such horror? Feelings of being forsaken by Jesus and left alone, abandoned, isolated, rejected and dejected surely hit the hearts of the disciples on Holy Saturday.
I told my family, fellow team members at First Lutheran and a handful of friends about my exposure and quarantine. I feared the stigma that would be associated with my situation. I didn’t want to feel exiled, rejected or isolated any more than I already felt. I surrounded myself with a small support group of people who offered daily encouragement, positive energy, hope and prayer – exactly what I needed to get through some challenging days.
Joy and Hope
Think about the absolute worst news that you could imagine hearing right now. Then, imagine that after two days of intense fear, uncertainty, isolation and despair, good news is delivered to you! What would you feel?
Joy, hope, relief, disbelief and hesitation are just a few of the many emotions the disciples must have experienced on Sunday morning when they heard the good news that Jesus is risen! I can only imagine the tears of happiness that flowed from their hearts. Their lives were forever changed and so were ours!
Today is my first day of living out of quarantine. Yesterday, I received the good news that I was cleared and could return to my normal routine and life. With the news came shouts of “Alleluia!” and tears of joy, relief and hope – mixed in with feelings of hesitation and cautiousness. My life has changed. It will never be the same as it was before my exposure to the corona virus. It can’t be. My daily routine and habits were not what they needed to be to safeguard myself and others from the virus. Convincing myself that the odds of me getting the virus are minimal can no longer be the story that runs through my head when listening to statistics on the local news. I was one of the statistics.
Empowered
Immediately, the disciples and all the witnesses are empowered to share the good news of Jesus’ resurrection with others. They can’t keep the news to themselves and begin to retell all they learned from Jesus.
I, too, feel empowered to share my story. I’ve learned that’s what disciples do. So, take my story and learn from it. Re-evaluate your daily routine and habits to ensure you are doing everything you need to do to safeguard yourself from the virus. If there’s something you should be doing, but aren’t, or do more consistently, do it. Don’t short cut on any preventative measures you can take. The saying, “It’s better to be safe than sorry” needs to be your mantra right now.
If you have placed yourself in some “low risk category” or convinced yourself, “It will never happen to me”, think again. I’m proof that thoughts like that are completely untrue. Everyone is at risk – at any time, any place and by anyone. Don’t take anything for granted. I know I won’t from here on.
Yes. Holy Week was a surreal experience. It was personal, intimate and life changing – for the disciples at that time and for this disciple today. Alleluia!
